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Finding Time for Flying

I think people underestimate the value on relationships and mental health of having some separate leisure / hobby time, even with demanding kids to look after. Just a quick 30 mins local area trip on your own can be a real tonic after work and family demands. There is a balance of course, but many of my friends who have given up all interests due work and family have subsequently struggled.

I also know friends who spend most Friday nights downing the wine and then don’t move until Saturday afternoon and keep complaining they have no leisure time when I’ve been and done a flying trip and still home to take family out for the afternoon…

Posts are personal views only.
Oxfordshire, United Kingdom

MedEwok wrote:

I recently read an interview with a sociologist on “how to become rich (in Germany)” and he said you cannot become truly wealthy through your own hard work, you need to create a successful business to do so

I think the point here is not to become “truly wealthy”. You don’t need to be “truly wealthy” to own and fly a SEP. The point is to have enough money and time to exercise your hobby. It’s up to you to decide what enough is and what exactly your hobby needs to contain. If that is 6 months continuous flying around the world each year in your own biz-jet, then you need to be “truly wealthy” If it is flying your TMG or UL each weekend, then it is more about priorities (and a wife with her own hobbies she is passionate about ) Seriously, if you wife needs your attention 24/7, then you might as well give up flying, or anything else for that matter (fishing, boating, golf or whatever). But of course, with wife and small kids and work and house and family and friends, there simply is very little left for anything else. That won’t last forever though, but you still need to prioritize.

The elephant is the circulation
ENVA ENOP ENMO, Norway

many of my friends who have given up all interests due work and family have subsequently struggled.

I agree 100%. One’s life is only so long. When one is 30 (or less) one thinks one will live for ever, but one doesn’t. If you totally dedicate say 20 years “for family and kids” then when they leave home you end up with nothing. You end up with no relationship because the relationship was basically done by proxy with the children keeping both busy. You end up with no friends because they vapourised when you got stuck into raising the family (because most people with kids just talk about kids and schools the whole time). You end up with no hobbies because you didn’t do any. And there is a good chance you will end up single… and getting divorced at say 50 will finish you off financially for good; you will probably never recover. That 20 year chunk is a huge piece of your life to not be doing new and interesting things. I may have only 20 years left right now.

sociologist on “how to become rich (in Germany)” and he said you cannot become truly wealthy through your own hard work, you need to create a successful business to do so

I don’t think that is true, as stated, because plenty of medical specialists are on 200k-300k and you can certainly have an extremely good life on that – unless you blow it away on – to quote Rod Stewart – fast cars, fast women, and the rest you just waste

However if you want lots of money and lots of free time and hopefully fairly low stress then you need to, basically, identify or create a money stream and position yourself on it so you can skim a steady % off it. The traditional way to do that is to own a business; if you have a few hundred employees in a manufacuring company then you should be able to take out a few M a year. That’s a new PC12 every year, easily. With a few dozen employees, you can buy a new SEP every year. The slightly more modern way is in finance…

Coming to one of our fly-ins is usually interesting for the stories of peoples’ lives.

Employ a housekeeper? Ditch your friends? Give up sleep?

Employing a housekeeper, or more specifically a babysitter, is a huge marriage preserver.

The other two I would not do myself, but it is true that most people “vanish” when they start a family. Then, if they get divorced, they resurface, but nobody invites them round for the obvious reason, especially if they are well preserved

But, seriously, I don’t think there is any magical solution. I think I would get a babysitter and do a deal with the wife so I can do my hobby for x hours a week and she can do her hobby for x hours a week, or something like that. The longest lasting relationships are where both have their own interests and projects, and do not give them up, but spend enough high value time together. The challenge is where one of the two never had any interests or projects and just wanted to have kids. Maybe a psychologist can find an answer; I haven’t got a clue.

Administrator
Shoreham EGKA, United Kingdom

Jujupilote wrote:

I have 2 questions for @S57 :
- would the situation be different if your plane was 3/4 seater ?
- do you worry for the shape of your aircraft if it doesn’t fly ?

No, I don’t think having a four seater would make a difference. Not in the short term anyhow. My wife likes the idea of us flying to nice holiday destinations but does not yet have the required confidence in my flying abilities (or possibly GA reliability) to want to take part. I think it may come one day. The aircraft is owned by a small group so is not reliant on me flying it. It also reduces my bills. I do take an active role in planning maintenance.

AF wrote:

The ultimate strategy is to find a reason to fly for work.

I follow your logic completely but my place of work is less than 10km away and travel is not required. I do know someone who often used to commute <50km by helicopter although it helped that they worked at the airport and had space at their house for the helipad.

Peter wrote:

Maybe a psychologist can find an answer;

My wife is in fact a psychologist! And to be fair she is very good and very supportive of my hobbies. I actually think that if I announced I was selling the plane and giving up she would not let me do so. She actively encourages me to revalidate my licence so I really cannot ask for any more.

Perhaps another solution is to spend less time reading EuroGA? Perhaps @Peter can produce some statistics about time spent per user logged in.

S57
EGBJ, United Kingdom

I have no idea how to get such stats, sorry

My wife is in fact a psychologist! And to be fair she is very good and very supportive of my hobbies. I actually think that if I announced I was selling the plane and giving up she would not let me do so. She actively encourages me to revalidate my licence so I really cannot ask for any more.

It’s same here.

Administrator
Shoreham EGKA, United Kingdom

S57 wrote:

How common is this situation? What methods do you use to organise yourself and make sure you have time for your hobbies? Employ a housekeeper? Ditch your friends? Give up sleep?

As Silvaire points out, the single main problem (or rather solution) is work. But having said that, nowadays I seldom pay anything at all to fly. Instructing and towing gliders gives me more opportunities than I have time for. I don’t really need money to fly, except aerobatics and the occasional cross country and visiting neighboring fields, lots of them in my area. I have built myself a shop where I build aircraft (two of them at the moment).

None of this would have worked if my wife wasn’t agreeable. No problem there, she is very occupied with her own stuff.

The elephant is the circulation
ENVA ENOP ENMO, Norway

@S57

I always feel not really comfortable giving advice about a situation I’m not confronted myself (no kids yet), but I think what Peter wrote above has to be digged.

I think the best way for you to find time to fly at the moment, is to agree with your wife to have a dedicated amount of time just for yourself. For example, one Saturday per month, from 9.00 to 18.00, you are free to do what you want and you are exempt taking care of the children or going to the supermarket.
As a counterpart, your wife will also have her own day, during which you’ll take care of everything at home.
If your wife is flexible, you can make your “Saturday for yourself” matching with a day the weather is good enough to fly. On a complete day, you can easily spend 3-4 hours in the sky. (If you don’t feel comfortable flying that much on your own, just bring a pilot mate).

If your wife is willing to, later on you can switch that day to be a day for the couple when you will let the children to a babysitter or a relative and go flying with your wife.

Generally speaking, I think that everybody have to remember that before being a husband or a wife, a dad or a mom, we are individuals and that everyone NEED some times to him/herself.

Last Edited by rschris at 04 Sep 15:28
Switzerland

S57 wrote:

How common is this situation?

Very.

S57 wrote:

What methods do you use to organise yourself and make sure you have time for your hobbies?

If you find out tell me. I am a shift worker and I’ve got a 4 year old daughter and my SEP expired one year after she was born. I’ve tried to get it back since but there simply is no time. None. I managed to get 3 training sessions done over the last year, that was all.

The simple truth is, in many cases with a young family and a demanding job there IS no time for anything else. Maybe that is why lots of PPL’s are folks either before or after they have had a family or job.

LSZH(work) LSZF (GA base), Switzerland

I’m in a similar boat (kids, work, house, garden…) and have wondered how you can fit in flying. Then came Covid-19. Only four days of work a week and working from home (saves 2 hours per day) and suddenly there was and still is plenty of time. I currently see no reason to return to the previous lifestyle.

EDQH, Germany

One answer is to keep your aircraft at home and to use it instead of a car (i.e. to visit friends or to fetch your Sunday newspaper from the nearest village shop). This is easy if you live and work somewhere like Glenswinton, where no sane person would stay.

If you live somewhere more civilised and sensible, you just have to choose a more realistic personal aircraft, be it a Hughes 500, a Zenith 701, or a paramotor.

Glenswinton, SW Scotland, United Kingdom
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