That reminds me of the UK Social Services flow chart for dealing with old / disabled people, which starts with “Is there a daughter around?” and if Yes then it goes to “Abandon it” 
And indeed this is what they do (unless circumstances become extreme; I could tell ya a story).
Peter’s “microphone” cartoon reminds me of a Gosport Tube, which I used to talk to my instructor in 1964.
( To be funny, I assume it’s something else.)
Maoraigh wrote:
I assume it’s something else
Are you taking the piss? 
Various versions of this one exist; I saw one about taildraggers
What does a pilot put at the top of his Christmas tree?
That made me laugh
