I know nothing about Independent. Is it some kind of joke?
The Independent is a “serious” paper although they have just made the news themselves by announcing they will drop the printed version and will go fully online.
I reckon you could teach a dog to fly straight and level, and maybe do turns. You can teach a 3 year old to do that very easily – anybody who can understand verbal instructions and sit high enough to see over the dashboard can do it.
An ILS… probably not 
Well, not down to the 200ft minima 
Slightly off topic: Martin Schroeder, the founder of Martinair, once supposedly said, probably during negotiations with pilot unions: “you can teach a monkey to fly, the only thing you need is a lot of bananas..”
Remember, once trimmed the plane flys itself. And once on autopilot the plane will fly itself all the way to any destination.
Peter wrote:
I reckon you could teach a dog to fly straight and level, and maybe do turns
How much intelligence is needed to fly? Even a fly can fly. It’s all about the interface.
most important: show the dog how to pull the red CAPS handle
Yes, we can – by the way “What’s the napping policy?”
Or, in a Diamond, teach it to “play dead” real well ;-)
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